2 Corinthians 4:6
For God, who said, “Light shall shine out of darkness,” is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.
Sometimes I feel the darkness dwells deep. It caresses my life. A prominent being that carries me away from the life I yearn. The terrible waves crash the burning soul that lives within, the burning flame that wants to reflect upon the world. A light that was meant to reflect, a light meant to continue to burn, a light that is supposed to fuel. Yet the crashing waves turn the tables, the waves thrash the life I want to live. Maybe I’m just over thinking it, but maybe it’s something that is serious. Maybe, it’s something we should all look into, but maybe it’s something we don’t have to look into for some. For some, the light has diminished completely, and sadly the darkness has engulfed all hope. This is something that scares me. This is something that tears away at my heart. I don’t like seeing anyone lose hope. I despise the moments in life when I see potential lost, or I see people who’ve given up. This tears at my core.
The waves diminish. The sink back into their turbulent being. They take with them the faith of a once strong man. What is left is empty. Shameful. Lost. The terrible conscience has overcome the faith. The man, the woman, the child, has brought down expectation, they’re overwhelmed, they’re empty, they’re buried within them. I’ve experienced the last part for a good majority of my life. True happiness had not been realized until I found the Lord. I was lost. I even do this now, though. I bury myself in doubt, losing faith, I reach for nothing. I reach and reach. I only catch sadness, depression. I find more doubt. I find solitude, contemptness in the darkness I suppose for a little while. The dark becomes my home. The outer image becomes an image of motion while the inward being is the true self. The virtues of society, the companionship that I’ve been blessed to have, unappreciated.
I become a wandering fish in a murky lake. I coincide with the reality of the situation. When I see a hook, I bite hoping for the best. I wish to be successful but find nothing but the terrible consequence for my action. I continue to swim, lacking knowledge of the outer world. How to share, how to connect. The darkness becomes a companion. A friend within the unclear life I reside in. I talk to it, discuss my thoughts, create things. I turn around and see the bright light, hope. I run, but the darkness runs after me. It drags with it the responsibility of the past.
You see, this might seem strange. I apologize, unfortunately that’s the only way I can express my thoughts. The point I’m getting to is, that you don’t have to carry the weight of the past on your shoulders. I know this might seem like something unreasonable at first. Trust me though, hindsight is 20/20, I’ve experienced the light, it’s in me. Yes, it may not be all bright and fluffy, 100% of the time, but with Jesus a new perspective on life is realized; you are made new. You don’t have to carry the weight of depression, you don’t have to carry the weight of solitude, you don’t have to live a life alone. You have a God that is more than willing to bring you into His glorious kingdom.
The thoughts might come back, but you know where to look now. The life of old is in the past. Your darkness becomes strength.