I marvel at the ways some people can express themselves. I want to be able to one day, express myself through a passion. I hope to one day be able to have a firm audience to see my work. To seek out what I am going to do next. This unprecedented fear that mumbles in the darkness and grabs my hand. The hope that strikes the contact and seeks to follow me on my journey. The narrator that reads my tale and forebodes my future. I see a light and only the audience knows it’s a misfortune. I see a stumble, I see an obstruction, but the reader knows it’s something special up ahead.

I want to find a way I can put my writings out there in a collective manner. A place like a newspaper or a book feels best suited. The problem with that is, well, two fold. I am first afraid of judgement from the outside, the people who I don’t know; strangers. Overcoming this comes the simple problem. The problem of really not knowing where to start, where to go. I’m not a person to sell myself. I’m not a real expressive individual when it comes to that manner. I can’t promote myself. It’s a handicap of mine that has hindered me in applying for many positions in the past. So what is left to do?

Does the foundation I stand upon stagnant? I can’t answer that. The foundation, sometimes feels to be moving fast. Sometimes it feels that I’m not going anywhere. So sometimes I become afraid and jump off the rolling sea and sometimes I become too comfortable and sit upon it and drown in under its deliverance. Its a crushing force but it has decent intention. I believe that it concretes a solid hope. Or maybe it’s just a fixture of my imagination. Who really knows, but the narrator?  I’ll just hope for the best. If anyone has any suggestions, it would be greatly appreciated.


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