A Taste of What I’m Working On

Chapter 4

 

Birds spoke within my humble heart strings and flew beneath my aspirations. I was young in the starry night and fell deep into the mysterious glow of the bright, luminous clock in the sky. It gratified my longing for comfort with its image. Communication with the dark fell from the bookshelves of my mind and collapsed upon my lap. It opened its mystery with delight and inspired me to continue my inquisition of this world. Who am I? Who am I to become? Where is the power? Where is my limitations? Believe and you will succeed. That is what was impressed upon me. So to do this I conquered the depths of my imagination like a foreign land ,and followed the weakness inside until I found a light to follow.

I began to yearn for that odd fellow to come alive again. Would he act the same as he does now? He might. I suppose, it doesn’t matter at all now because he isn’t with me anymore. I do long for his presence more and more. His quirkiness was the only thing constant in this land of spontaneity. In the blink of an eye, I found him. In the moment of hopelessness, I found him. I chased the man like a lost soul. I tailed his vision with my horizon and flowed beneath his glowing spirit. It was childish. It was also delightful. I was running through the cold sand and washing all my fear away. He would look over his shoulder at some points, smiling, laughing playfully. I would smile back. I went back to the days of my youth. The days I would chase my brother around the yard. He looking back and smiling. He with a twinkle in his eye and mine sparkle back. Gratitude always shivered down my spine and I would always feel like the world was beneath my feet. Like the world was all my own. Him and me, lost in a fantasy. A day to live on forever. A day to last for eternity. I was safe in my youth. I was always with him. Then we drifted apart. Then we crashed our companionship with a dazzling flame. In the quickest moment, we found ourselves in conflict every day. Every day was an argument. No matter the scale, it concealed my visions. It stripped the beauty of life away from me. It carried away all aspiration. I was alone. Later in my youth, not only had I lost my brother mentally, but also he left the world. I was left in isolation now. I was dormant for many years. Boiling my fears under a hot flame of criticism and introverted juices. I was humbled by the cause and my skin bellowed, and fell apart. I was slowly deteriorating into what I am today. The deadly poison of the Earth had taken away the only person I truly cared about. I fell to my knees. I halted my pursuit of the companion of my mind. This was the end of that for now. I looked down at my hands. Did I have anything to do with this madness? Did have a choice? Had I been the cause of the unfortunate events of my life? My hands sweated with fear and brewed a paleness that jarred me. My face became shivering cold and my feet became numb. I vouched for the lost cause too long. I had too many guilt trips to carry out. They were tearing out my insides. I wanted to be free. So I stood up but found no signs of the man again.

This frustrated me. Engulfed within me was rage.

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